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Types of poly

10 Types Of People You Meet In Polytechnic

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Graduation week recently ended for most polytechnics in Singapore. Even if you weren’t directly a part of it, you probably stole some food from the buffet spread outside or noticed the onslaught of instagram posts of your friends clad in their rented graduation robes (solely for photo-taking, of course).

After spending some time in poly, you would have met many different kinds of people. Whether you’re in Ngee Ann Poly, Singapore Poly, Temasek Poly, Republic Poly, Nanyang Poly, or perhaps even local universities, here are 10 distinct types of people you meet that are hard to miss.


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1. School Spirit

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Most graduands would probably be ecstatic to leave poly, and either further their education in uni, or set foot into the working world. Oh yeah, and NS for the men, yay! However, some may be quite apprehensive to step out of their second home, their comfort zone – school.

These people participate zealously in everything. Student body elections, sports events, charity drives, concerts, the like. They were probably the ones who led you around the campus and taught you some school cheers during your orientation. They might also have many shirts bearing your school’s name that they wear so patriotically. Not to mention the barrage of life-sized posters and banners strewn all across campus floors during “election week”, poor cleaners.


2. Warning Letter Kings/Queens

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On the opposite end of the spectrum are these people. Try asking them to go for ANY school activity and they’re most likely to say “Uh, can I not…”. All they carry with them would be their handphones and wallets, if they even bother to carry their asses to class in the first place.

Although they’re always much too busy thinking about other important things they could be doing besides having an education, such as going home to play computer games, they SOMEHOW manage to graduate. Countless warning letters, probably one or two disciplinary hearings and endless smoke breaks in between lessons. These guys find their way out with a diploma with subpar GPAs, whether it’s in 3.2, 4.2 or 5.2. Even the teachers just want them out of there ASAP.  *Slow clap*.


3. Too Hot To Handle

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This is a hard one because there is a little too much to cover here, literally. Go school or Zouk? Probably both. “If less is more then might as well show nothing”. You will see short skirts, four inch heels, dat ass and eyebrows on fleek.

Also, there are the “hipsters”, for the lack of a better word. Monochrome. Monochrome everything. Others be layerin’. Piling on the now discounted Zara outerwear line but never complaining of the heat, so kudos to you. Conversations with them would go something like:

“Wah not hot meh?”
“No la very cold brrrrrrr….”


4. Effortlessly Chic

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Now these people don’t even have to try. If you are blessed with nice features and you smell good, half the battle is already won. Even when these people just wear a t-shirt and jeans, they’re still ready for their close-up. It’s not fair, but well, this is life. Nothing is fair.


5. Unreliable AF

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Picking the right project group mates plays a pivotal part in getting that A. But in every course, there’s bound to be at least one person everyone knows better than to group with. There are too many reasons why – they either don’t participate, or even when they do they have nothing good enough to provide.

You can’t even count on them to do simple things like reply your texts. These people were probably thrown into your group, much to your displeasure, because even the teachers know how bad of a team player they are but want to “give them another chance”. Well, you can’t really do anything about these people except give them a scathingly bad grade for their evaluation, you devil.


6. Overachievers

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They get A’s for everything and teachers love them to bits. These people are usually very busy receiving awards for being themselves. You can find them at the front of class each morning, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Everyone could’ve left the lecture hall early if not for them asking so many questions that noone exactly understands, not even the lecturers.

They’re usually pretty nice, but can be quite selfish academically. Try asking them what their presentation is gonna be about and they’ll be tight-lipped AF and try to find a way around the subject matter.

People secretly hate them for achieving so much more than the diploma, but admire them nonetheless.


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7. NOTICE ME PLS

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Also the ones who will make you lose your shit. Imagine yourself sitting down in the canteen with your friends. You’re cutting a nice piece of your delectable cafeteria food when suddenly, all you hear is a laughter so annoying you just feel like taking your knife and stabbing him twenty seven times. It’s THAT guy. Maybe he’s trying to get a girl’s attention or something, but deep down even his friends don’t like him too much. Social awareness??? What’s that???


8. Sore Thumb


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Everyone has seen that one guy with the afro, or that girl with bright rainbow hair. Or the person with an arm covered in tattoos, or that chick with great bewbs. Or that group of cosplayers… you get it. These people usually turn heads when they walk just because they don’t look like your average joe or plain jane. Like snowflakes, we are all unique, but some are just more interesting to look at.


9. Diligent Drunks

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Students who still show up for class despite their massive hangover should be respected. They could have chosen the easy way out – get a cheap MC at the polyclinic for “diarrhoea” and stay home to nurse themselves back to sobriety. But no, instead they decide to be warriors and go to class and battle it out for the day.

They’re probably so used to it anyway after going clubbing/drinking on school nights every week. You will find these guys either slumped over a chair at the back of class or searching for hangover cures in the canteen nearby, probably wearing shades.  Strangely enough, some of these champions still get straight As. Could alcohol have some oracular power?


10. Your Spouse/Best Friends

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A lot of people meet their best friends or other halves in poly. You hated going to class when they were sick at home, you spent all your breaks with them, and they were there with you when you were stressing up over your project submissions. If you’re lucky, you’ll stay in touch with these people for life and you’ll always have funny stories of the good ol’ poly days to laugh about.

There are SO many more types of people that deserve a mention. Till next time, perhaps. And to the recent graduates – Congratulations, and all the best to you!

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